Amor Fati

The ancient    stoic star

firmly tethered to invisible chains,

circling the center of the Milky Way,

graces the Earth with regal shimmer

night after night, year after year,

into the blackhole of eternity.

 

The water rushing the fall

to meet demise upon jagged stone

roars in morose joy,

singing in its submission

to a path carved long ago,

knowing that the forest

would not radiate boisterous green without it.

 

Death creeps in our blood,

coming closer to the heart with each moment,

filling the cells among their unchangeable code,

mingling with thoughts, dreams

and memories of heartbreak,

freezing the tips of our extremities.

 

In the midnights filled with dread,

overcome by inadequacy and powerlessness,

look up at the ancient gods sat brilliantly in the sky,

feel the cleansing water at your feet,

hear the relentless pumping in your chest,

        and empty yourself in the hollow air.

***

(Cuenca, Ecuador -- October, 2018)

I wrote this poem shortly after moving to Ecuador back in 2018, more or less permanently. I burned myself out in college, failed miserably as a Peace Corps volunteer, and got a nasty concussion that stopped me from going back to college when I had planned. This poem, then, uses the imagery of the stars being fixed on their course to explore the idea of "amor fati", of loving your fate no matter what happens. All those bad things had happened, but I kept going. Looking back, I can say that I'm so happy for all of those misfortunes because without them, I wouldn't be where I am now.